Speaking with Integrity

What makes you smile?

2009-09-20T14:36:00.004-05:00

In the midst of your day, as you face trials and challenges in your routine, is there something that will always make you smile?

Some days are easier than others to see the love of God. The sun is shining, the breeze is at your back and all seems well in the world. A smile comes easily to your face and spreads the love of God to others. Smiles are contagious. They multiply. Smiles are free to share and if you're well connected they'll never run out.

My question today is, where can you turn for a guaranteed smile? What is your never fail, can't fight it if you tried, joy producer?

For me, it's what I call the "Promise Parade". Our church baptizes alot of babies. Each weekend there are three or four little ones welcomed into God's family. The baptism is part of our worship service and we all have the honor of witnessing this gift. As the Pastors present these new children of God to those watching from the pews, they pass up and down the aisles with babes in arm. Newly adopted children of God, lives full of promise, faces bright with hope. God has imprinted His dream for their lives on each of their tiny hearts. Their entire life lay ahead of them to fulfill that purpose. The "Promise Parade". Even when they cry, the experience never fails to make me smile.

You don't have to look too far to find people in need of hope, encouragement and love. Discover your font of endless joy. Let that smile fill you face and share it with everyone you meet.

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us..." Ephesians 5:1-2

Dogs in cars always make me smile too :O)

Spring Forward

2009-04-03T13:18:00.004-05:00

There’s a pickle in my bathroom. The small glass ornament is a remnant from Christmas that never made it back into storage. It was plucked from the tree early Christmas morning by my son. This newly adopted holiday ritual is a source of such glee, that Charlie mounted the stairs in delight, being the first to find the elusive Christmas pickle. After a quick dance of celebration, he stashed it on my bathroom counter, where it sits today.

Although there are still a few mounds of snow clinging in shady spots on my lawn, the emerging daffodils (and the calendar) will remind you that it is almost Easter. It’s time to get my act together. The Christmas pickle is one of many small reminders.

Spring time and Easter are powerful reminders of God’s call to renewal. Each year I admire with awe and appreciation the rebirth of my yard. Mounds of brown sticks give way to awakening shoots of green. Tulips and crocuses push up from the hardened earth to be warmed by the sunshine and fed by the showers.

The season compels me to turn a new leaf in my life. I’m inspired beyond the prompting of New Year’s resolutions. Spring calls for renewal.

Beyond the call of spring cleaning and the change of physical elements, I am encouraged to address the cobwebs in my head. It’s time to let go of old hurts and habits and move forward. I’ve had enough negativity. I will no longer give audience to those who say I can’t live with purpose and passion.

As surely as I hunger for the sunshine between spring showers, I long for hope I can sink my teeth into. Strengthen me when life seems bleak. Nourish me when I feel weak. Prompt me to persevere through life’s myriad distractions.

In The Burning Heart Contract Becky Tirabassi points to a daily renewal and enrichment through the Word. Her spiritual growth and personal relationship with God flourished when she committed to spending an hour each day with the Lord.

While reading her testimony and her prescription for daily study, I realized I had become sloppy in my spiritual disciplines (not just my housekeeping). I had forgotten to feed on the Word of God. Removed from the richness that sustains and the food that endures, I began to wither.

My discovery leads me to action. My renewal requires change. All of this requires energy and commitment.

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31).

How do the renewal of spring and the rebirth in Easter inspire you? Where do you turn for hope and encouragement?

Actions Speak Louder

2009-03-16T13:26:00.000-05:00

The shrieking voices came from my bedroom. I had sent the kids up to watch some TV before bed so I could take a quick phone call. “What happened to all our channels?” screamed Charlie. “How can we live without channel 154?” pleaded Julia. All stations to DEFCON 3, we were in crisis mode.

After reassuring the kids that we could survive the night with only 99 TV stations, I tucked them into bed, and started my diagnosis. It seems that after Sean left the cable company for his new job, they shut-off our services.

My husband offered detailed instructions on how the remedy the situation. He told me the precise model number of cable box to request, the package to order, the salesman to consult. Jotting the details down, I had everything I needed to race into action and solve our entertainment crisis.

I was still feeling sick, so the rush to fix the TV dilemma was pushed off, day after day. Soon it became less worrisome and only at odd moments, near bedtime, did we miss our extra 673 channels. Another week went by. Busy with my own agenda, the days passed and I neglected the task that meant so much to my kids.

We’re told that “it’s the thought that counts.” Yet, if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of your husband saying, “I thought about bringing you flowers” or your child sharing, “I thought about cleaning my room”, or a friend adding “I thought about calling you last week”, you know actions speak volumes and thoughts count for little. I’m guilty myself of offering the lame, “I thought about making you a home-cooked meal”.

“Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.” (Philippians 4:9)

God calls on us to fulfill His agenda, not ours. I was reminded this week that God has a plan, and I play a part. Doing His work involves action, putting it into practice.

When it comes to loving one another, and serving the needs of our community, actions speak louder than words and intentions. I have errands to run, people to call, and dinner to plan. It’s God’s work, done with a loving and generous spirit.

What will you “put into practice” today?

How Does it Feel?

2009-02-28T17:25:00.002-06:00

Photo by CielChen

I just finished watching a terribly confusing film, I’m Not There. It was supposed to be about Bob Dylan, with the lead played by 6 different actors. Although each of their roles mimicked his, they never said they were Bob Dylan. They each had different names and different stories. It was not what I had expected or hoped for.

My heart broke in the 2 hours I spent with this film. I had a secret dream that I held so tightly that I dare not speak it. A phone call interrupted the middle of the film and stole that dream and took that hope away. It wasn’t a big dramatic or earth shattering moment. It was a confirmation that a small and simple dream wasn’t coming true.

I know that when you peg your hopes on the wrong things, you can only end up disappointed. It’s tempting to put faith in things, or schedules, or vehicles, or even people. But odds are they won’t deliver your agenda. I had hoped someone close to me would make a choice to make my life easier. He chose a different path. He wasn’t there.

I’ve been sick this week. I’ve taken a lot of medicine this week in hopes of curing what ails me. Some have helped, some actually made me worse. Through it all, the hardest pill to swallow is the reminder that it not all about me, my agenda or what makes my life easier.

I had my little pity party. I was angered at the selfishness of my loved-one’s decision. Until I realized I was being equally selfish.

I still have reason for faith and hope, even in the midst of pain, suffering, and loneliness.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17).

Upon reflection, I suppose the movie was suggesting that we can’t know a man by his actions or his music. We can read an interview, watch a film or attend a concert, but those snapshots in time won’t reveal his true character. In essence, all of these character portraits were Bob Dylan, just as much as they were not.

Likewise, it’s not about me and it’s all about me. God put us on earth to love and care for one another, not to focus on our own needs being meet 24/7. At the same time, Christ’s death on the cross was for me. He died for my sins. That’s exactly how much he loves me. He loves you that much too.

That’s the sacrifice that truly matters.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13).

Answered Prayers

2009-01-30T09:43:00.002-06:00

Our celebration had been delayed. As we sat down at the restaurant, we realized that neither of us had brought our wallets. My husband ran quickly home to retrieve some cash while I entertained the kids and ordered our meals. Somehow my 9 year old son was the only one with cash in his pockets, just enough to keep his sister and himself occupied at the video machines while we waited.

This odd turn of events gave me time to reflect on the odd journey we had traveled. Almost a year to the day that my husband’s airline announced it would cease all operations, we had reason to celebrate. On January 25, 2008, Skyway Airlines, flying as Midwest Connect, told its employees and the community by TV news that all 400 regional employees would be cut. In a cost cutting measure meant to save the company, an out-of-state airline with non union employees and fancy new equipment would be brought in to fly the routes.

Job loss is everywhere these days. Doubtless, your life has been touched by the economic crises in one way or another and the odds are that you know someone faced with similar “cutbacks”, “layoffs”, or “cost saving measures”. Call it what you like, it stings all the same.

In March, sweet relief came in the form of a job offer from JetBlue Airlines. Sean was offered a class date in May. Our relief was short lived. Gas prices soared, aviation was hit hard, and all new hire training classes were cancelled.

Many of you prayed for us: prayed for a new job, for hope, for a marriage strong enough to overcome a rough patch. As the airline industry continued on its freefall, with new layoffs being announced each day, the options for flying dwindled. Your continued prayers of encouragement lifted us up and kept us going. Thank you.

Sitting in the restaurant last night I had time to reflect on the trials and opportunities of the last year. I’ve heard it said that when God closes one door he opens another and Hell is in the hallway. We’ve spent plenty of time in the hallway, yet the doors He opened are filled with joy and promise.

As our bottom line sagged, our faith was bolstered. When all the flying jobs disappeared, we learned we had skills that would lead to new careers. After being abandoned by a company we had been loyal to for 8 years, we discovered who our true friends are. We many not see them as often, but we found we can ‘poke” them on Facebook.

As I waited alone at the restaurant table last night, the Garth Brooks song, “Unanswered Prayers” played on the jukebox. I smiled to think of my high school sweetheart and my prayers that had gone (thankfully) unanswered. Looking back with 20+ years perspective it’s easy to see that God knows what he is doing and leaves many prayers unanswered for a reason. I’m grateful for that. Perhaps in time, I will come to appreciate His timing for this season in my life.

Yesterday, JetBlue called. Sean starts 3 weeks of training in Orlando on February 18th. He’ll be flying an Embraer 190. We don’t know much more than that. We thank God for answering our prayers. Thank you for praying alongside us.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” (Hebrews 11:1).

I offer my story as one of hope. The news reported that over 14,000 people lost their jobs yesterday. The headlines are grim and the days ahead seem dark. Have faith. Keep praying: for yourself, for others, for people you’ve never met. The airlines industry was one of the first to falter. Now, a few companies are beginning to recall their pilots. Like seeing a robin at the feeder on a cold Midwestern day, we need to be alert and celebrate a sign of better times ahead.

Sean returned with his wallet just as our food was delivered. His timing … just perfect.

He Won't Abondon You

2009-01-25T22:50:00.004-06:00

picture by Jill Greenseth

Sometimes in the midst of a crowded room you can still feel alone. I remember in college helping out an old roommate with a photography assignment. She needed a model for some “mood” photos. You can only imagine how many times I made her repeat her request before agreeing. (say it aloud a few times if you don't get it)

We traveled around Washington, D.C. scouting spots where I would look especially lonely. We went to a crowded bar where I posed alone, looking forlorn. The bartender even suggested putting the stools on the bar so I could look especially pathetic. I was all alone at closing time.

We went to a crowded mall. Surrounded by happy shoppers walking in pairs, I sat alone. I did my best to act the part. I was sad and alone in a sea of joy. I was missing out on all the fun.

Our last stop was a children’s playground. As the kids ran carefree and happy, I sat, alone, on a swing, kicking at the dirt at my feet. I didn’t have to act any more. I felt alone. All of locations we’re filled with joy-filled, hopeful people; yet, I had never felt more isolated.

I left my old friend and headed home. I dragged myself into my dorm room, slapped a Janis Ian tape into the stereo and fell on my bed for a good cry. Instead of a being the subject of a photographers lens, I felt like a specimen in a lab. I gave in to the temptation to believe the worst: I was a freak, a loner, worthless, abandoned, and unimportant to anyone.

“When in doubt, look up”, reminds the sweet little angel that hangs in my bedroom. A dear friend gave her to me. This angel is the first thing I see as I wake up each morning. She reminds me that even in the bad times, even in the valley, God is good. He will never abandon me, He is faithful and true. I carry Him in my heart, in every fiber in my body just as surely as my daughter carries her trusty blanket “pinkie”.

“This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9).

There are days in life when things don’t go my way. I thank God for being with me in the days most filled with strife and pain and fear. His love shines through the gloom and points to the skies.

What helps you remember that God is with you and will never abandon or forsake you?

I sometimes find encouragement through song, as in the words above. I am also reminded in the song, “Yesterday, by Mary Mary that “there (is) nothing too hard for my God…any problem that I have he’s greater than them all. So I decided that I cried my last tear yesterday.”

The Stuff that Counts

2009-01-15T17:15:00.003-06:00

It’s always exciting when someone leaves a comment on my blog. Any comment is cause for celebration; someone has read my blog and heard the good news. I don’t know what I expected when I started. I had fantasies of being discovered, starting of community of followers who awaited each message as a chance to write in and share with each other.

I thought of each message as a catalyst to a broader conversation. I agonized over each post, spending hours on each, scrutinizing each word or turn of phrase. In short, I worried what you would think.

The comments were spotty at first. Friends sent words of encouragement. My mom wrote a few anonymous comments (her maternal perspective is easy to spot.) But where was the witty debate? Where was the intellectual repartee? One day a worship leader stopped me at church to share how much he enjoyed my blog when it dawned on me, I am literally preaching to the choir.

I searched for ways to track traffic on the site, ultimately adding a counter. I became obsessive checking the counter to see if anyone had visited. I added a short-hand comment code so visitors could rate the post as “interesting”, “helpful” or “meh?” My husband added a link to this site from a Disney discussion board and anticipated a huge surge in “hits”. I regret to share that he was wrong.

Tempted to give up and focus my energies on other projects, I prayed for guidance. I was reminded of one of my early posts. It had started an important conversation that had occurred off-line. Someone close to me reached out by phone to comment on my blog. He rarely sets foot in church and is uncertain of his faith. My words had started a dialogue that I hadn’t previously dared to open.

After reading your comment today, I visited this site, my anticipation mounting to see the new total on the counter. What happened? Where did it go? I fiddled with the computer settings for a few minutes before I realized the meaning. The number of hits on the site is not what counts. I’m not writing this for me, or even for you, dear reader. I write for the glory of God. If I bring one new believer to Him or strengthen one faltering relationship, every effort is worthy.

Your comments are always valued and welcome.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. (Colossians 3:23 – 24).

Believing is Seeing

2009-01-04T17:10:00.002-06:00

My house is a wreck and the Christmas decorations are starting to crowd out the dust bunnies. The time has come to wrap it all away for another year. I always enjoy looking through the Christmas cards one last time. Sent from afar, each sends a touch of love and wishes for a joyful 2009. The Christmas “brag” letters get another quick scan. My college roommate Amanda included an unusual disclaimer in her letter. Like an investment prospectus that warns that “these statements are forward looking” her letter featured the following caveat:

“The editorial staff makes no comparison as to the relative “quality” of (our) year…while (we) feel truly blessed and had a great 2008, this update/newsletter/brag-sheet in no way suggests that (we) had it better than you.”

Most letters broadcast the highlights of the years travel and accomplishments. Likewise, I tried to document our year in a quick and cheerful letter. To be honest, on paper our year looked more than lousy. Unemployment curtailed our regular travel schedule and economic woes and uncertainty stole the wind from our sails. Seeing the words on paper left me feeling hollow. Although all those details I wrote were true, the facts didn’t reflect what we were feeling.

“Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing.” We’ve watched so many Christmas specials this year; I can’t tell you where I heard it. Yet, this simple line resonates with me.

Because I believe, I can see beyond what is wrong in my life and see the joy, the hope and the promise. Even in our darkest moments, God’s love endures. My life has been blessed this years in ways that will never make the pages of my College Alumni magazine or even a Christmas brag letter.

Believing is looking with wonder and privilege at the opportunities of each day.

Open your eyes to find the joy that is all around you.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

The Perfect Christmas

2008-12-21T10:36:00.002-06:00

Have you struggled to find the perfect Christmas present for your loved ones this year? Did you hover over your children for hours trying to capture the perfect Christmas picture? Have your attempts to create the ideal Christmas robbed you of your joy and peace this season?

Think of your most vivid Christmas memories. Often, it is the most horrendous of mishaps that leave the lasting memories. Even the classic Christmas movies fit this pattern. We remember Charlie Brown’s Christmas because of his pitiable little tree. We smile with little Cindy-Lou Who as she sings with joy even after the Grinch stole her Christmas.

One year our family set out to impress our guests with an extravagant holiday celebration. We splurged at the store and came home with a huge package of jumbo shrimp. Our hands shriveled like prunes after the hours under cold water as we peeled and deveined the centerpiece of our feast. “Please, Dad”, we begged, “Can we just try one shrimp?” “They are for our guests, you’ll have to wait”, was the reply. The shrimp looked lovely, piled high on the crystal tray. As the doorbell rang, Nana carried the heavy tray to the coffee table as we greeted our guests in the entry. By the time we gathered coats and hugs and made our way to the den, our 150 pound Great Dane, Misha, had devoured every last shrimp. I don’t know who was more sickened; my Dad, at the wasted expense, or my dog, for obvious reasons. I don’t remember what we ate that night, but we laughed and enjoyed each other even though our big plans had fallen flat.

In "A Christmas Story" nine-year old Ralphie pines for his dream gift: a genuine Red Ryder 200-shot Carbine Action Air Rifle. We learn along with Ralphie that even the most coveted possessions can disappoint. His teachers, his parents and Santa all tell him, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” As the family’s preconceived notions of the perfect Christmas dissolve, they find joy and happiness with a new tradition of Chinese Turkey as we “Fa ra ra” along.

It’s time to abandon the concept of the perfect Christmas anything. These overblown expectations serve only to frustrate our lives and cause undue anxiety. We end up bitter and angry (like Martha) toiling in the kitchen instead of enjoying the presence of our family and guests (as Mary remembered).

Reclaim the joy and peace that God intended for you this Christmas and always. Trust God that you are where you are supposed to be. Enjoy the unexpected and embrace all that is imperfect. That is my Christmas wish for you!

Christmas Contrast

2008-12-15T08:52:00.000-06:00

It seems like such an unfair contrast.

Christmas time is a time of celebration and rejoicing for the newborn king. Yesterday my family and I were pleased to be a part of a small celebration, “A Birthday Party for Jesus”. Preschoolers gathered to decorate and devour birthday cakes for Jesus and then attend a puppet show/dramatic depiction of the Christmas story. There was giggling and excitement as the little ones enjoyed the sights and sounds, and celebrated the reason for the season.

In stark contrast, my heart is heavy with the struggles and pain and sorrow of so many friends. It’s four in the morning so the best I can do is pray for my friend who leaves on Wednesday to be with her brother as he endures his final cancer treatments. I am awed by the faith of a friend taking her husband for heart surgery in a few hours. She is so steadfast and sure in her trust in the Lord. May He be her comfort in the waiting room and her husband’s healer during his recovery. I cry out to Jesus for a dear friend chasing after the details of life, struggling to keep all the balls in the air. She is overwhelmed with the pain her husband is feeling and unsure where she should be. I pray for a family swept up in a whirlwind of Christmas activity. In their exhaustion, where is their joy? God grant them the peace of an afternoon together, in one spot, doing nothing but holding down the sofa.

A quick check of the weather reveals it is -11 degrees outside. Where do the cold and homeless turn on a night like this? Who will be Jesus? Who will provide comfort and warmth to those who need it so much?

Mother Teresa said, “There are thousands of people who would love to have what we have, yet God has chosen us to be where we are today to share the joy of loving others”. I may not possess the ability to stop cancer or mend a broken heart, yet I do the simple little things that I can. I give what I can, and then give a little more. I can’t turn up the thermostat in the Midwest but I can drop off a hat and mittens for those in need. I can reach out, show I care and listen with a compassionate heart. I can roll up my sleeves and lend a hand without being asked.

What can you do?

Christmas on Location - Global

2008-11-30T11:32:00.001-06:00

Living in Arizona, I thought I’d seen it all. My first Christmas, I was delighted to watch neighbors bathe their homes, cars and businesses in multicolor lights. Why let 80 degree weather deflate the Christmas spirit? Just be extra careful when you decorate your cactus.

A December trip to Disney’s EPCOT offered a quick lesson in Holiday traditions. As we strolled around the “world” we visited with Père Noël, La Befana, Father Christmas, Julenissen, and St. Boniface. Each storyteller shared the legends and celebrations of the host country.

A few years ago, we vacationed in Mexico during December. Once again, our eyes were opened to some new traditions. Here the palm trees and beach side resorts we’re done up in a mix of festive styles. Our biggest surprise came at a local mall. Beside the bikini shops and T-shirt stores sat a majestic life-size manger display, or Nacimiento. With the overwhelming scent of coconut oil, we had momentarily forgotten it was Christmas. It’s a joy to see that our friends to the south were not afraid to keep a visible reminder that Jesus is the “reason for the season.” As we admired the display, we suddenly realized something was missing, the Baby Jesus! Had he been stolen? As the week progressed, we searched each manger in vain for clues to the missing messiah.

With research we discovered the depth and beauty of the Mexican Navidad experience. Festivities begin on December 16th with the Posadas, nine days of celebrations re-enacting the quest for lodging in Bethlehem, and continue until the Epiphany and Candlemas in early February. Central to the celebration is the nativity scene, the principal holiday decoration in Mexican homes. These elaborate structures are never fully complete until Christmas Eve when the newborn Baby Jesus is finally laid in the manger bed.

Exploring these traditions, I am inspired to display my faith this Christmas in a more public way. Although “Skippy,” our 3' inflatable penguin, is cute and welcoming, he does little to spread the true meaning of Christmas. This year, through my decor and my demeanor, I hope to fully express the joy that God sent to us through Christ.

Pay it Forward

2008-11-23T12:29:00.001-06:00

I didn’t deserve her kindness. She had “hired” me to be her assistant: to help her serve and host an elegant fund-raising event for the American Heart Association. At fourteen years old, I lacked the poise and refinement for such an event. But she saw something in me I didn’t yet recognize and took me under her wing.

Her table was set with fine china and antique stemware. As we prepared for the guests to arrive, she described the provenance of her favorite antiques, how they had been handed down through generations to arrive safely on her table. I was awed by the history. The set of dishes my grandmother has passed down had been collected piece by piece from the ACME supermarket. I was out of my league.

The guests enjoyed an elegant afternoon and Mrs. Brown was pleased with the amount she had raised for her cause. The atmosphere was much more relaxed as we cleared tables and washed dishes. I was careless. I picked up too many goblets at one time and the fragile glass shattered. I was horrified. How would I break the news? Mrs. Brown had taken a chance on me, believed me worthy of her trust.

If she was angry or disappointed, she never shared it with me. Sensing my fear, she came along side me and gave me a gentle hug of reassurance. Everything would be okay.

How can you repay that sort of kindness? I didn’t deserve her forgiveness nor her reassurance. She gave me a gift that day: a lesson I have carried with me ever since. She taught me that even when things seem really bad, put them in light of what’s really important in life. There’s tremendous power in a dose of perspective.

A few years ago there was a movie that floated the idea of a noble experiment. Pay it forward. If someone has done something extraordinary for you, don’t pay them back, pay it forward. Give or help or serve or forgive someone else.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion - how can God’s love be in that person. Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” (1 John 3:16-18 NLT).

God’s gift to us is too huge. Our sins are forgiven, our transgression wiped clean. His love for us is unconditional. We can’t return that favor. Besides, God isn’t looking for repayment. Our offering is not payback.

He wants us to pay it forward. Take a chance on someone. Forgive those who have wronged us. Mirror His love and reach out to those in need. Share our treasures even when our account balance is low.

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve.” (1Peter 5:1-3).

In the words of Rick Warren, "ultimately, it will be the donation of your life that will count far more than the duration.”

A Risk Worth Taking

2008-11-16T13:42:00.000-06:00

There is a man I know. I’ve known him since he was a small boy. He has overcome many obstacles and taken many risks on the way to becoming the man he is today. Looking at a man’s life, it’s easy to see that risk taking is not always good. There are risks taken on a dare or to please peers or risks taken out in rebellion. We’ve all made mistakes that we regret.

Last year, Stephen Kapusta took a bold risk in the name of the Lord. In his passion to unite local churches in his community of Celebration, Florida, he dreamed big. The Lord led him to plan and promote a fall festival bringing together the seven churches of various denominations in his town. There were skeptics who warned he would never overcome the infighting. There were critics who minimized his vision and passion. He gave endlessly of his time and energy to accomplish the goal, not his goal but a mission and purpose from God to unite the community and celebrate together the gift of God’s love. The cost of this event was immense. His budget spiraled and eventually reached $34,000. With donations barely trickling into his website, how would he pull off the event? He took a huge risk and a leap of faith and leveraged the equity in his house as collateral for the funds he needed. He literally “bet the house.”

We all take risks in our lives. Life on our planet is inherently risky. Beyond the everyday chances we take flying in a plane or crossing the street or investing for retirement, there are risks we take that have eternal significance.

There are families that courageously open their home to a foster child. Putting aside their uncertainties and worries, these families place their trust in God. They rely on God to provide the patience and compassion to unite their families in His love.

We take risks at work. A woman offering products samples in the market last week turned bravely and sweetly to my daughter to affirm, “never forget how much Jesus loves you.” Was this against store policy? How did she know we would graciously accept her blessing? She didn’t, but she willingly took the risk in the name of Jesus Christ.

In the words of John Ortberg, “greatness is never achieved through indecision.” As we step out in our faith, we put or values into action. Opportunities abound to serve, support, and share of your gifts and talents.

I’ve taken many risks in my life. I’ve made some poor decisions. Yet, as I look back on my life, the risks not taken haunt me the most. I wish I had been brave enough to talk to that girl who was getting too thin. I regret that fear of conflict kept me from addressing a cousin struggling with addiction. Now it is too late.

“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body.” (Philippians 1:20). I would rather take a risk in God’s name than spend any more of my life with regret for opportunities lost.

As for the Fall Faith Festival, God always provides. More than 2,500 community members came together to celebrate and share the joy they have in Christ. In the end, when the donations were tallied, they had raised $34,500. By the grace of God, they had a surplus of $500 to use toward this years festival, which was renamed, Faith Forward. It’s a valuable reminder to all that when we accept risks in the name of the Lord, our faith will always move us forward.

Give with a Cheerful Heart

2008-11-09T07:49:00.002-06:00

It starts earlier each year. Halloween wasn’t over yet and the local radio station had switched to Christmas music. “There are 46 shopping days until Christmas”, the ads remind. Catalogues crowd my mailbox. The children have started their lists and so have I.

Some friends with an eye toward simplicity have mentioned “opting out” of Christmas this year. Books like "Simplify your Life", suggest that we stop sending cards and gifts for loved ones. Think of the time you’ll save and the peace you’ll have with your new streamlined life.

My mother rejects this notion. She fully embraces the joy of sharing. “It’s all about the kids” is her mantra. She indulges the grandchildren with toys and gadgets. Even when our family didn’t have much, Christmas overflowed with abundant love and affection. There were handmade ornaments and homemade gifts from the kitchen. She taught us to give generously from the heart.

My kids have learned at an early age that the best gifts are simple, handmade gifts: the kind made with love and gobs of glue. These one-of-a-kind treasures delight our hearts and revive our memories as we unpack our decorations each year. The crowning glory of our tree may look like it is made of tin foil and cardboard, but it is built of pure love.

My brother has always been a generous gift giver. He embodies the sentiment that it is better to give than to receive. His exuberance with giving means you rarely wait until your birthday or Christmas day to receive your gift. He would explode if he was forced to wait that long. He gets immense pleasure watching someone unwrap his gift. “God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7). Imagine the joy God receives witnessing such unbridled generosity.

As I make my list and think about the gifts I prepare this time of year, I will follow the apostle Paul’s advice. “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion.” (2 Corinthians 9:7).

I think of the blessings God has sent to our family. He has lavished us in love, forgiveness and mercy. He has lifted us up when we were down and strengthened us when we were weak. He has loved us even when we seemed unlovable. Most of all, God sent us a gift too wonderful for words, the gift of His son, Jesus.

I pray our giving will reflect all the blessings we have received. I pray we will be effective stewards off all God’s gifts. Regardless of what the news reports suggest about our economy, we still have much to give: gifts of love, forgiveness, compassion and mercy.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion - how can God’s love be in that person? Dear Children, let’s not merely say that we love one another; let us show the truth by our actions.” (1 John 3:16-18 NLT).

An End and a New Beginning

2008-11-05T13:05:00.001-06:00

From my desk I can see the American flag on my porch fluttering in the breeze. Today is a good day to fly your flag. I’m ready to forget about red states and blue states and show my colors as an American. I celebrate the glory of the United States: red, white and blue united together.

The election season has finally ended. The voting has concluded. It has been a long year of emotion and commotion. How do we set aside our differences? How do we move forward?

I was witness to many prayers yesterday surrounding the election and the future of our country. Seeing the election results, it’s clear that for every 53 citizens that are pleased with the outcome, there are 46 that are disappointed. As the numbers demonstrate, there were a lot of unanswered prayers.

“Forget about what’s happened. Don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I am about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out, don’t you see it?“ (Isaiah 43:18-19 from The Message).

Proverbs 3:5-6 directs you to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

God has an awesome plan. At this moment, it may be hard to imagine how recent events fit into his plan. Why waste time and energy wondering “why?” It’s time to look forward and trust in God. Through the Holy Spirit we are encouraged to seek unity among His followers. He will grant us the endurance to join together to do His work.

Join together to pray for our country and our new leaders. You are invited to a prayer service on Thursday, November 13, at 6:30 pm at Hales Corners Lutheran Church. There will be time for reflection and mediation as well as a time to praise the Lord for his blessings. Lift your voice with David Kaap and the Celebration Singers.

Spice Things Up

2008-11-03T22:11:00.000-06:00

My mom makes the most decadent side dish with her holiday meals. She cooks carrots in butter and powdered sugar and a touch of brandy. They taste as sweet as candy. It’s the only way my sister Beverly will eat carrots.

Some people are picky eaters. It’s a real challenge to get them to try new things. I know a young boy who only eats yellow foods: french fries, grilled cheese, cereal, apple sauce, mac ‘n cheese, chicken nuggets and corn. Technically he has all the food groups covered, yet his parents would like to see him branch out and expand his diet.

Experts suggest that parents expose their children to a new food numerous times before giving up hope. I’ve gone to great lengths to lure my kids into trying new vegetables. I’ve sweetened green beans with sugar, disguised broccoli in cheese sauce, and hidden zucchini by shredding in into spaghetti sauce. In a moment of inspiration (or temporary insanity) I created animal faces out of fruits and veggies in an attempt to weaken their defenses and tempt them with “cuteness.”

“Yuck!” “It’s too spicy!” “This tastes funny.” I keep trying because good nutrition is vital to physical health. I know that I feel so much better when I eat well and I want the same for them.

It’s the same way with spiritual health. It may take several introductions and multiple exposures to church, a small group, or a fellowship activity to arouse interest in your friends and neighbors. If we give up hope, they may never come to know the richness and flavor of a life of faith.

“Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6).

My life is sweeter, my relationships are healthier, and my faith is more robust through my walk with Jesus.

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never goo hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty’.” (John 6:35).

"Streams of Living Water"

2008-10-26T17:31:00.003-05:00

My kids are like fish. They just can’t get enough of the water. Uninhibited, they race past the water’s edge and splash fearlessly in with total disregard to water quality or temperature. I am a bit more cautious. For me, it takes a bit of coaxing.

A few summers back, my husband treated the family to a visit to Calaveras County, California: home to giant sequoias, old gold rush towns, and host of many fond childhood memories. Sean’s family had been vacationing in the small town of Arnold for as long as he could remember. He gleefully shared his stories of carefree days at the lake nestled just around the bend from their cabin. His enthusiasm was quickly deflated when he was told the lake was now for “members only.” Some quick research yielded the directions to White Pines Lake. We packed up the car with children and supplies for a day away from home and headed out for adventure.

After a few wrong turns, we arrived to find the lake and the parking lot deserted. As we made our way past the remnants of last night’s bonfire and a pile of “empties,” I wondered “are you sure this is the lake they recommended for families with children? ” Could this be the right spot?

There was still a chill in the air as the warmth of the sun hadn’t reached past the tops of the tall pines. Yet, the kids were unfazed and took their turn getting slathered in sun screen. They were ready to get wet. I secretly wondered if this was the lake from “Friday the 13th” and if we were Jason’s next unwitting victims.

I kept to the shore, busying myself with our towels and toys, securing our location as a few more families arrived. “Mommy, come play with me,” my son, Charlie, pleaded. It was time to step in. I wanted to be part of the fun.

Charlie led me to the water’s edge. He brought me there and I was willing to be led. The sting of the cold water at my ankles quickly faded as we splashed in the shallow water. He brought me through the reeds at the shoreline to where the water reached my knees. It was harder to move around, and our progress through the water was slower. He brought me out to a deeper part of the lake. The shocking cold of water at my waist nearly sent me back to the shore, yet I persevered. As the lake bottom dropped away, I stretched beyond where I could walk on my tiptoes, I was no longer connected to the earth. It was time to swim.

At that point far removed from the shore, the sun finally arched above the tree line. As the rays of sunlight kissed the flecks of gold-dust embedded on the bottom of the lake, the magnificent sparkle illuminated the entire area. The transformation was heavenly. The golden hue brightened everything it touched. Ordinary objects pulsed with color so intense they seemed afire or alight from within. The water came to life! The water brought everything to life!

Would you welcome that sort of awakening and transformation in your own life? Would you eagerly exchange the ennui of every day for a lifetime of light and life? You’ll have to get wet. You’ll have to dive deep into the waters of His word. Ezekiel learned that “where the river flows everything will live.” (Ezekiel 47:9). The Lord offers an abundance of blessings in the deep waters. The unstoppable waters are teeming with life and purpose for us. Boldly explore your faith and allow the spirit to quench your thirst, enrich your heart and transform your life.

“The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them. I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into springs. . . . So that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it.” (Isaiah 41:17-18, 20).

CommonUnity - Purpose

2008-10-15T21:43:00.001-05:00

What am I doing here? Lured back by the bait of my dream job, I endured rush hour traffic to travel downtown and now I sit and I wait and I wonder. Is this what I am supposed to be doing?

The GPS in the car had guided me safely from my home to the interview. The turn by turn directions were spoken in a voice clear and sure. I placed my trust in the “personal travel assistant” to get me to my goal. If I strayed off the course, the voice would redirect me with a firm but gentle “recalculating.”

Having arrived at my destination, I prayed before getting out of my car. Not a prayer for a job offer, instead I asked for clear vision. “May our time together be productive so we can make wise decisions. Make it obvious, God. Is this where you want me to be?”

Do you question how you should invest your time? Do you wonder if God has a plan for you? Perhaps you know that He has a vision for your life, yet you struggle with following his directions.

I am blessed to have the luxury of deciding if I am supposed to return to work. Others may struggle with the call to coach basketball or to teach Sunday school or to join a study group. Like an endless Sunday buffet, our lives are filled with choices. Some people pack so much into a day it overflows into the next. Is your plate full?

Job reminds us that “if they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.” (Job 36:11). Take time to pray about your direction in life. God shows us “the way.”

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do our will, for you are my God; may your Spirit lead me on level ground.” (Psalm 143: 8,10).

CommonUnity - Common Possessions

2008-10-05T11:59:00.005-05:00

It’s about 11am as I hear the noisy sputter as the mail truck chugs down our street. As I walk down the driveway I fantasize about a letter from Ed McMahon’s prize patrol, or a windfall check from a long lost relative, or (my wildest dream) a lucrative job offer from a stable company that offers health benefits.

Today is a typical Tuesday and Eugene the mailman has brought the usual mix: a phone bill, a few catalogues, an unemployment check, some pizza coupons, and several requests for charitable donations. The bill gets tossed onto the stack in the office. The catalogues are quickly recycled; I don’t even look at them anymore. The check and the coupons are a welcome sight. Our home now has a dedicated spot of honor for both of these items. They won’t sit there long.

One letter is disguised as “real mail.” It looks hand written and has a stamp instead of a postal meter mark. I open it hesitantly not recognizing the return address. Three girls my daughter’s age smile back at me from the card. Inside the note pleads, “there’s no reason they - or anyone else in our community - should go hungry... especially at Thanksgiving. Can we please count on your support once again?” It’s doubtful that I can repeat my gift from last year per their request, yet I can’t throw this one out. I set it aside for later.

I don’t have to guess what’s in the next envelope. World Vision, for all the good they do, will never be accused of subtlety. We may face hardships in our household, but they don’t compare to those of the child on the mailing. “Walk in my shoes,” the envelope demands. It’s hard to ignore their suggestion to step out of our own circumstances for a moment and consider those less fortunate. “Right now children are facing sickness, hardship, and death - and they don’t have medicine, decent clothing, or shoes to protect them.”

After reading about these children and the hardships they face, I see more clearly the blessings in my life. I can better appreciate the gifts I have been given. I realize that after six months of unemployment, we don’t have as much as we once did, yet we still have something to share.

Finances are tight for many of us. With 70% of Americans living paycheck to paycheck, fears about the economy or job losses are very real. Reports in the news and the gyrations in the stock market have people nervous about their savings for college or retirement. Life is good, yet I remember more carefree times.

Did you notice the drop in fuel prices this week? When did $3.43 for a gallon of gas start to feel like a great deal? The reality is that I can reflect on a time when things were easier. Comparing prices and bargain hunting were once hobbies, not the necessities they are now.

It’s tempting to look “up” the socioeconomic ladder and feel envious of what others have. I could grumble about hard times and lament the bad hand we’ve been dealt. It would be easy to use the current financial crisis as an excuse to stop giving to those in need. I could simply toss those charitable requests and cut back on my past pledges for support.

Instead I choose to look with compassion at those less fortunate than us. We might not have much, but we still have something to give. Last year’s boots and coat can keep another child warm this winter. The books and DVDs that are gathering dust in my cabinet can be boxed up as Treats for Troops. Our church publishes a “Giving List” of the items most needed by local agencies. Pray that God will open your eyes and your hearts that you would see the opportunities to share.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21).

Each year at Christmas our family run business would collect small gifts for children at a local orphanage. A large box would sit in our lobby, waiting to be filled with donations. As the drop off date neared, my father would grow impatient with the slow trickle of presents. Gathering two or three office employees, he would head out on a shopping expedition and fill a cart with toys and gifts and paper and bows. Our office overflowed with joy on those afternoons as we merrily wrapped presents we would never see opened. The joy returned far outweighed the cost of those small gifts.

As you go about your week, look for ways to share your time and your talents and your resources with others. Why wait until Christmas to share cards with loved ones? Do you have a neighbor who would enjoy a friendly visitor? Is there a relative who could use a helping hand with their grocery shopping? Perhaps you could hold the hand of a friend awaiting news at the doctor’s office?

Our lives and our communities grow richer as we give to and share with others.

“Trust in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed.” (Psalm 37:3).

http://www.hcl.org/generosity/giving-list/the-giving-list.html

Commonunity - Common Place

2008-09-29T11:33:00.001-05:00

Do you know someone like me? Many days I am so focused on goals and my “to-do” list that I miss out on everyday interactions. At school, I may be so busy trying to recruit new volunteers that I forget to make friends. At a meeting, my goal is to efficiently complete the agenda and I don’t notice the group member in need of extra time and attention. At home, my focus is on paying bills, making beds and cleaning up. Did I forget the children in the midst of all the chores?

September 22nd marked the 7th annual “Family Day - A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children.” This national initiative was created to remind parents about the importance of “parental engagement in their children’s lives.” Where are our priorities as a society that we need a holiday to remind people to sit down as a family and spend time with our families?

To be honest, I had to check my calendar to tell you where we were on the 22nd. It was a typical day spent racing from one activity to the next: a carefully coordinated schedule of pick-ups and drop-offs. I think we ate dinner together but I imagine our conversation was centered on, “hurry up and eat so you won’t be late for your next activity.”

The busyness seems to cut across all generations. My parents are retired, yet their schedules are full: doctors appointments, tee times, book clubs, bridge matches, gardening, errands, shopping, etc. Our days are filled with activity, but are our lives full? Are we so busy pulling weeds that we don’t take time to smell the roses?

I have a prayer on my bathroom mirror. Each morning as I start my day it reminds me to “trust God that [I] am exactly where [I] am meant to be.” He chose this family, this time and this place for me. It’s a powerful reminder of God’s power in my life and of His plan. After all, it’s His agenda that counts, not mine.

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us.” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

Today I will reach out to those around me. I will be content knowing that God has a plan for me. In my family, my neighborhood and my community I can demonstrate His love. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22).

I will grow where I’ve been planted.

Commonunity - Common Problems

2008-09-21T10:23:00.002-05:00

Five years ago, a friend invited me to her house. She and her husband welcomed me graciously into their home. We were not alone. As the kids ran off to play, we descended into the basement to join the other couples, seated in neat rows in front of the T.V.

I had joined a small group. I agreed to join before I really knew what it meant. I stood, clutching my standard, church issued, blue bible. Would it shield me from harm or danger? These people would seem harmless enough if encountered in ones or twos, but assembled as they were, as a pack, I was intimidated. "Don’t be fooled by their easy smiles and the punch and cookies," I cautioned myself. What did I have in common with these people? How could they understand my life and its problems?

We took turns introducing ourselves. With each story, I felt more out of place. I was new to church, still teetering in my faith, just a toddler in my faith-walk. Surrounding me was a room filled with bible-study veterans. My head started to spin. It seemed that everyone there was born and raised in a faith-filled environment and had never strayed from the path. Not me. I had a past. I had enough skeletons in my closet for a Halloween parade. How long would it take for them to run me out of the house with pitchforks and torches?

We started the video. I felt safe with the lights out. Rick Warren’s voice was comforting and the message was inspiring. I longed for comfort and encouragement. I came seeking a purpose for my life.

After the lights came on, we began to share. Although I felt my history, my understanding, and my experiences were unique, it turned out, we had so much in common. As I looked past their fancy Bibles with gold leaf edges, indexed tabs and custom carry cases, I realized we were not that different. We were all broken and hurting. We had all made mistakes. Deep down, our problems were all the same. We came before God seeking direction and answers. We joined as a group seeking comfort and compassion.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13).

As you go about your busy life and your busy week, be on the lookout. All of us struggle with loneliness, endure fears, seek purpose, and search for connections in a disconnected world. Look for those who need your help. We can provide a way out and a way through for those in need. We can borrow the strength and compassion of God and serve those in our community. Like strands of thread that grow strong when joined together as rope, we must stand together and share our common problems.

Our small group came together. Saving, helping, keeping and loving each other, together we grew stronger. No one cared about my plain blue bible. They cared about me.

“Carry each other’s burdens. Let us do good to all people.” (Galatians 6:2,10).

CommonUnity - Promises, Promises

2008-09-14T15:40:00.004-05:00

The eight-foot tall cell phone in the atrium at church stood mocking me. The centerpiece of a new sermon series, it teased me with its full battery symbol and four bars of signal strength. How many times have you needed to make a call and found your phone wasn’t up to the task?

The cell phone providers outdo each other with splashy ad campaigns promising superior coverage and new technology. “Can you hear me now?” They assure us that our phones will work when we most need them. They make a lot of promises.

If you’ve ever waited up, sitting by the phone, for a call that never came, you know the disappointment of a broken promise. My husband travels a lot. When the kids were small, it was hard to be at home for long stretches of time, without adult conversation. He would promise to call between flights, just a quick call to touch base and say “hi.” Things didn’t always work as planned. The phone didn’t always work in the remote areas where he traveled or flight delays meant there was no time to call between connecting flights. Technology disappoints.

We reach out to others for strength and love. We seek companionship, encouragement, and understanding. We reach out to others to insulate us from loneliness. People make promises. Many try earnestly to keep their promises, yet “there is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20) It is inevitable that people will fail us.

As children, we rely on our parents for many things. Beyond the basics of food and shelter, we look to our parents for love and approval and the answers to life’s questions. My kids are still young enough that I’m still their “go-to girl.” They run to me for a kiss and a bandage for their scraped knees. They call to me for help with homework or to help resolve a dispute. It won’t last forever. By the time they are teenagers, I’m more likely to hear a sarcastic “Mom, what do you know about anything?” than an appreciative, “Mom, you’re so smart!” Loved ones will disappoint us.

How old were you when you realized your parents were only human? Did you feel let down?

Sometimes our expectations are too high. Many people look to their families, their jobs, their spouses, or their belongings as a source of happiness. They look all around for joy and satisfaction. They seek perfection from the imperfect.

Instead, of looking around, we need to look up. If we seek perfect peace, there is only one source with a perfect track record for promises fulfilled. We need to put our expectations at the feet of God. Life disappoints but the Lord delivers. “God had power to do what he had promised.” (Romans 4:21). We can look to our Abba Father for a love that never fails and know that Christ is faithful to every promise ever made.

"Praise be to the LORD, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he has promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses.” (1 Kings 8:56).

September 11th

2008-09-11T07:21:00.003-05:00

This isn’t my regular day to post, yet I felt moved to reach out today, September 11, 2008. At times, these seven years feel like a lifetime ago. Other days the events seem just a heartbeat away.

My mom sent us a children’s book. The book’s jacket describes a “moving portrait of September 11, 2001 and its aftermath. A Nation Challenged records one of the most important and devastating events in modern American history.” The feelings were so raw, I put the book on my son’s bookshelf to gather dust while I summoned the courage to explain what happened and why.

Each year I pondered if he was old enough. Deep down, I guess I didn’t want to be the one to break the news and shatter his sense of safety. He’s so young, so trusting, so innocent. Yet as we put our flags out, I wanted him to recognize the significance of the day.

I paged through the book for a starting point. The pictures of the crash and collapse were haunting reminders of the loved one that were lost and the lives that were forever changed. The starkness of time lines and maps contrasted with the pain and grief of the world as it mourned. People from across the United States and around the world came together. In churches and mosques and temples, we united to cry and lift our voices in song. People gathered together and prayed in the streets and at work and at schools around the globe.

This is what I will show my children. Along with the pain and the sadness I will share the hope and the faith and the love. Pictures of people in New York, Florida and Los Angeles are along side pictures of people in Kenya, Taiwan, India, and England. Each person with hands folded in prayer.

For all of our differences, there is much we have in common.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8)

The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. (Psalm 145:14)

The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus....And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:7)

Please join the conversation. Click below on comments to add your thoughts, recollections, or encouragements with others. Speaking with Integrity will resume on Sunday with the new series Commonunity.

Common Grounds - Lead with love

2008-09-07T11:35:00.002-05:00

“You can’t lead the people, if you don’t love the people. You can’t save the people, if you don’t serve the people.” – Cornel West, professor at Princeton University.

Leadership and service are hot topics in the world today. Teachers, coaches, bosses, church leaders and politicians impact our lives. What do you think makes a strong leader? What qualities and qualifications in a leader inspire you to follow?

Not all of us feel equipped to lead. We all know people who are fearful of stepping forward and taking on responsibility for others. Yet each of us has an opportunity - actually a responsibility - to lead others by the example of our daily life.

My daily life is not always noteworthy. As a wife and a mother I have many responsibilities. Many are mundane. There is nothing glamorous about mopping floors or washing dishes. I have bratty days when I mutter and complain, “why am I the only one who has to wash the floors?” One day in the midst of my pity party, it occurred to me, “I’m the mom.” These were jobs that I had unwittingly accepted when I became a wife and mother. It’s my turn. I can go about my chores grumbling and complaining or I can adopt a cheerful attitude.

One day I was preparing for out-of-town guests, cleaning spots of the house that were long neglected. As I worked to make my house presentable, a strange thought occurred to me. What if I were getting ready for a visit from Jesus? (I feel confident he would not be scrutinizing the crumbs in the crisper drawer.) My attitude was transformed by the notion. My pace picked up as I hummed a tune. I was no longer slaving out of duty; instead, I was serving out of love. My kids may have wondered, “what’s up with mom?” I hope the lesson wasn’t lost.

“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,” (Ephesians 6:7).

Have you ever had the doorbell ring with an unexpected guest when you were least prepared? How did you welcome your guest? With apologies and your foot blockading the doorway? Or with graciousness and love?

Mother Teresa tells us, “It does not matter how much we give, but how much love we put into our giving.” Give what you have with love. Your attitude when you give is more important than what you have to share.

This was demonstrated to me a few weeks ago. I was in need and feeling lost and distressed. I found myself, uninvited and unannounced, on my friends’ doorstep. They were still unpacking after a recent move and had a busy day scheduled with chores and errands. They lovingly welcomed me to their house and dropped their lives for an hour to help me in my time of need. Their actions were simple. The love and compassion showed through.

As Jesus professed, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40).

My friends are shining examples of service and leadership with love. I am inspired by them to reach out to others just as they did to me. Simple acts of kindness can have a big impact.

Leadership opportunities surround us. We may be leaders in business, in school, in church or in our own homes and neighborhoods. I believe that people are inspired to follow when a leader shows both passion and compassion. My father always reminded me that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” If we are looking for a common ground as a basis for a conversation about faith, there is no more universal starting place than love.

Mother Teresa reminds us that “when your heart is large, God’s love will spill over, splashing onto everything you touch and wetting everyone you contact.”

“Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.” (Daniel 12:3)

Common Grounds - God is love

2008-08-31T11:40:00.001-05:00

“In reality hell is not such an intention of God as it is an invention of man. God is love and people are precious. Authentic truth is not so much taught or learned as it is remembered. Somewhere in your preincarnate consciousness you were loved absolutely because you were. Loved absolutely, and in reality, you still are! Remember who you are!” – Bishop Carlton Pearson, Author, Speaker, Spiritual Leader, and Recording Artist.

Perfect love. Absolute love. I think of the love of a mother for her unborn child. I recall the preparations for my firstborn: the enormous prenatal vitamins, the repeated trips to the doctors, the shopping for whatever they told me I needed in What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Some mothers even read stories and “talk” to the unborn child growing in their womb. Friends and family host baby showers - showers of happiness and love.

God loved us before we were born. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-14). His love endures.

Do you know what it is like to be loved so completely? Not for what you have done or even what you will become but simply for being. For who you are. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called Children of God!” (1 John 3:1).

God created an entire world for us. That is God’s love for us. “I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers; the moon and the stars which you have set in place.” (Psalm 8:3). All the magnificence that we see each day - and sometimes overlook - he made out of love for us. Start with the garden and all its beauty, majesty and bounty. Adam and Eve lived beside God. They spoke with him, and they spent time daily with him, as children of God. I believe that is how God intended it to be.

Adam and Eve were tempted and fell from God. It was not His intention. It was our invention. We make mistakes. Yet, through His love for us, He never gives up. His mercy is great. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16). He is mighty to save.

I love to watch my children sleep. It is such a great blessing to stop in their rooms before I go to bed each night and look at their sweet faces. In their slumber, all the craziness of the day disappears. You forget the fights over bath time and the whining about eating vegetables and the tears and the bickering. They are transformed, like little angels

Every day I tell my kids that I love them. They are nearby and still young enough that I can smother them with hugs and kisses. The time may come for squirming or protest, but until then we snuggle and have our special bedtime tradition. After we recap the day and share our hopes for tomorrow, we pause to express our absolute love. Many of you remember the book Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. It tells the story of a boy growing up and all the havoc he wreaks in his lifetime. More important, it sings of the enduring love of his mother. A love that overcomes all mischief and mistakes. Each night, Charlie and I sing the refrain from the book: “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”

God loves us like that too. He is near. We may not feel His hugs and kisses or notice Him rocking us to sleep each night, yet His love is unfailing. He delights in hearing our prayers each night as we recap the day and share our hopes for tomorrow. Through our sins and our flaws, God’s love endures. “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed (by our sin), for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is God’s faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22 emphasis added).

Reconnect with God’s love. Take time this week. Pause from your daily routine to reflect on God’s love for you. Allow yourself to reconnect with the authentic truth of His absolute love for you. As Max Lucado encourages us in A Love Worth Giving, “the secret to loving is living loved.”

“May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love.” (Ephesians 3:17 NLT).

Common Grounds - Using 5% of your Brain

2008-08-24T12:05:00.002-05:00

Scientists tell us we only use 5% of our brains. But if they only used 5% of their brains to reach that conclusion, then why should we believe them? – Joseph Palm, Starbucks Customer from Oshkosh, WI

I don’t remember driving home one day. It was a familiar road and I was lost in my thoughts. It came as a shock when I found myself sitting in my driveway with no recollection of the drive home. How did I get here? Did I remember to stop at all the stop signs? I don’t recall making any of the turns or stops on my five-mile trip. I must have been using less than 5% of my brain that day.

The oddest part was that I wasn’t sure what had me so preoccupied. I don’t recall thinking anything earthshattering or mind-boggling. I had just checked out for a while. Maybe I was abducted by aliens.

Are you ever so focused on your thoughts that you forget to look around and see all that surrounds you? Are you ever so wrapped up in your own circumstances that you are blind to all that life has to offer?

I took quite a detour in getting here today. I doubt anyone who knew me growing up would have predicted I’d be writing a web-log, mixing my thoughts with bible scripture and hoping to share the word of God through a speaking ministry. You see, we weren’t particularly religious growing up. Yet, nothing could have prepared my parents for the shock of my announcement at age 14 that I was an atheist.

I remember my moms tears at the kitchen table that night. She was so upset at my pronouncement. I was purely scientific. If she couldn’t prove the existence of God with math and science, I wasn’t interested. She pleaded with me. “Couldn’t you at least be agnostic?”

I like hard evidence. Proof offers reassurance. I check Consumer Reports before buying a major appliance. It’s a big expense. I don’t want to make a mistake and get stuck with a lemon. There is comfort in knowing their researchers have tested and evaluated the features of the top selling models and determined the best. They do the work for me and spoon feed me their picks. I can skate by using only 5% on my brain.

Facts, figures, and statistics are everywhere you look. The news reports are filled with them: gas prices, stock averages and the latest poll numbers. My college Market Research professor taught me an amazing thing about statistics; you can make the numbers say anything you want. Make a subtle change of words on a questionnaire and your results skew dramatically. Massage the numbers and twist the words and suddenly everything is clear as mud. What is the truth? Who can you trust?

I can’t prove to you with scientific accuracy how I got home that day any more than I can rationalize how as an atheist, I became a Christian. I must have used more than 5% of my brain. I swept the cobwebs from underused parts of my brain and looked beyond the easy explanations. I was seeking something more and my mind and heart were open.

Then something really crazy happened. My son was born. I held him in my arms and stared in amazement. The mathematics of it all were staggering. This child was not a random arrangement of cells. I had studied probability and there was no way that natural selection could have created human life without a lot of help. Clearly God’s fingerprints were all over my son. It was unmistakable. At that moment I took what philosopher Søren Kierkeaards termed “the leap of faith.” I embraced Charlie as all the proof I needed.

Job asks, “where does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell?” (Job 28:20). I believe it comes from beyond the 5% of the brain most people engage. It is a truth fed by the Spirit and pumped straight into the heart. It lies within all of us and is as vital as our pulse. It is a gift of love that “comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” (1 Timothy 1:5) We only need to acknowledge and accept Him.

I still struggle with the discrepancies between science and God’s law. I accept that there are concepts beyond my grasp. I may never understand or be able to explain. Still, I continue to ask questions and seek truth.

“The peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:7, 9)

Common Grounds - The Law

2008-08-17T12:03:00.004-05:00

The law, for all its failings, has a noble goal - to make the little bit of life that people can actually control more just. We can’t end disease or natural disasters, but we can devise rules for our dealings with one another that fairly weigh the rights and needs of everyone, and which, therefore, reflect our best vision of ourselves. – Scott Turow, author of Presumed Innocent and Limitations.

In this chaotic world, it’s nice to think we exert a little control over something. We wait in traffic jams that we can’t escape. World events unfold, yet we are powerless to change history. It feels good to have command, power, might, jurisdiction, mastery, or rule.

Years ago, I lived in Phoenix, Arizona. The streets were lined with nearly identical homes surrounded by tall block fences. The high walls announced, “this is mine and that’s yours.” In the unrelenting summer heat, the fences gave flight to dreams of a backyard oasis. A little piece of heaven with Bermuda Grass and citrus trees, each lot was clearly defined from the next in an attempt to control the desert.

Scott Turow views the law as man’s chance to exert a little control. Through the law we can assert a bit of justice in a sometimes unfair world. “The law is good if one uses it properly.” (1Timothy 1:8)

I like laws and rules. They make for a well-ordered society. Just as my children thrive in an environment with firm boundaries, I prefer to work within predetermined guidelines and easy to follow directions. There’s peace in predictability. There is comfort in knowing what the other car is going to do at the four-way stop sign. The rules and laws work when everyone plays along.

The word law appears 456 times in the NIV Bible. In God’s perfect way He lays out His law for us to follow. “He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him” (2 Samuel 22:31). The psalmists sing of the peace and delight in following Gods law. When “the law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide” (Psalm 37:31).

In this world it’s easy to be lulled into a false sense of security. Your life is happy and content until you get hit with the inevitable sucker punch of reality. As the insurance company tag line warns us, life comes at you fast. Suddenly, your basement is flooded, or your job is “eliminated”, or your baby won’t stop crying long enough for you to call the doctor. How do you cope when things don’t go your way?

In anger, some people turn from God. They protest that God failed to save them from their misery or protect them from their pain. They ponder why bad things happen to good people. We all know of cases where laws fell short and the innocent suffered. Neither the laws of man nor the laws of God can insulate us from affliction.

Law is imperfect. Control is folly. The Turow quote asserts that “we can’t end disease or natural disasters.” It’s true. We are powerless to stop the fury of a storm or to end disease. The best we can do is have an emergency plan. We can’t control many of the circumstances of our lives, but we can prepare. Practical suggestions abound. Get flu shots. Buy duct tape. Have six months of salary tucked away for a rainy day. Like the Boy Scouts, we must always be prepared.

My children have discovered inline skating. My husband and I insist on basic safety gear: helmets, wrist guards, and knee pads. (If it were up to me, I would cover them in a three-inch thickness of bubble wrap.) I let them go. I hold my breath in case that will help protect them from falling, but I can’t control their success or failure. I can’t guarantee their physical safety.

Let go and let God.

Only our faith can truly insulate us in case of falls. Faith can strengthen us when we are weak. We can set aside our fears and anxieties and “by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present (our) requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6). Through prayer and study of God’s word, we can protect our hearts against the inevitable sorrows of our world. Relying on God’s compassion and love is the only emergency preparedness plan I can trust in 100 percent.

“And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” (Romans 5:2-5).

Common Grounds - Our greatest predjudice

2008-08-10T12:48:00.004-05:00

“Our greatest prejudice is against death. It spans age, gender and race. We spend immeasurable amounts of energy fighting an event that will eventually triumph. Though it is noble not to give in easily, the most alive people I’ve ever met are those who embrace their death. They love, laugh and live more fully.” - Andy Webster, Hospice Chaplain in Plymouth, MI

My quiet reverie is broken by the shrieking sirens passing by. Their cries stretch and wail as they race past me. Squad cars, fire trucks, an ambulance; they race to the scene. Will they arrive in time to help, to comfort, to save? I raise my eyes to heaven and I pray, LORD, comfort the injured. Let them see you, feel your presence, and accept your love. You are mighty to save. Mend their bones, heal their flesh. If it is time, save their souls.

The psalmist wrote, “Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?” (Psalm 6:2-3)

It is agonizing. We are all faced with death, whether a future construct, an inevitability or something more concrete. The odds delivered by a doctor. The prognosis after medical tests. The life lost in the blink of an eye. It pains me to think of losing my loving husband. It breaks my heart to even consider the loss of my sweet children. How could I go on without my mother or my father? Death will touch us all.

If you could know the exact time of your death, would you want to know? Knowing the moments you have left to live, would you change your life, your ways, your priorities?

Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon computer professor made famous with The Last Lecture, died July 25, 2008. A shining example of courage in the face of death, his message reached millions. In August of 2007 his doctors told him pancreatic cancer would claim his life in three to six months. He made a choice to spend the time he had left living and not dying.

His lesson plan for us is simple:
Achieve your childhood dreams,
Enable the dreams of others, and
Never lose your childlike sense of wonder.

He tells us in his lecture that he is having fun and plans to have fun every day. He accepted his death but chose not to focus on it. He lived, loved and laughed with his wife and three small children, living each moment he was given. His lecture was a lifeline to his children that they may know his passion for life and his love for his family.

Carpe diem. Seize the day. Take time to smell the roses. There are many examples of living fully in popular culture and literature: The Bucket List, Life’s Golden Ticket, Tuesdays with Morrie.

In his novel The Art of Racing in the Rain, Garth Stein encourages us “to live every day as if it had been stolen from death . . . To feel the joy of life . . . To separate oneself from the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter every day. To say I am alive, I am wonderful. I am. I am. That is something to aspire to.”

I do aspire to live fully in the present. Yet, I confess that I am often so busy that I lose sight of what is really important. My husband likes to remind me. He likes to sneak up on me when I am elbows deep in Palmolive suds at the kitchen sink. I never see him coming, focused as I am on fighting grease and grime. I am vulnerable. He pounces, hugging me around the waist and kissing me sloppily on the neck.

“Not now! Can’t you see I’m busy?” I complain. I am easily annoyed and angered by his sneak attack, wanting only to finish my chore. When I turn to see his smirk, I catch the twinkle in his eyes. I’m reminded to let go of what’s good for what is better. Living in the moment means embracing opportunities to love and be loved. Living fully is appreciating all that God has given. Being fully alive is embracing the 98% that is good in your circumstances and not the 2% that is lousy.

“This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

Randy Pausch asks us “to decide is you’re a Tigger or an Eyeore.” How will you live your day? Winnie the Pooh’s Tigger spends his day sharing his jubilation. Full of joy and life, he pounces on friends, enjoying each day with abandon. Are you a Tigger? Or more like Eyeore? The sad purple donkey lives inside his own agony. Focused on his problems, he feels cut apart from the world. He is anxious and alone.

Bad things happen and in the end we all die. Even Jesus, in coming to this world and living as human flesh, endured pain, persecution and death. He knew his Father’s plans. He foretold his death and yet the knowledge did not consume him. He carried himself with peace and dignity and honor.

In Christ we have peace. It not a matter of embracing our death. As believers we are accepting something more. Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Peace be with you!

Common Grounds - Heaven is Overrated

2008-08-03T14:39:00.006-05:00

"Heaven is totally overrated. It seems boring. Clouds, listening to people play the harp. It should be somewhere you can’t wait to go, like a luxury hotel. Maybe blue skies and soft music were enough to keep people in line in the 17th century, but Heaven has to step it up a bit. They’re basically getting by because they only have to be better than Hell." – Joel Stein, Columnist for the Los Angeles Times

Does God need a new publicist? If he wants to attract the multitudes to the wonders of heaven, he might need a new ad agency. Modern man is bombarded with messages 24/7: glitzy infomercials, slick ad campaigns, spin doctors perfecting their messages. The creative teams employ vibrant colors and bold graphics to grab our attention and inspire us to act. We buy their products or sign up for their services. How can God inspire us without visual images?

The Bible offers few first hand testimonials to the wonders of heaven. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." (1 Corinthians 6:9). The poetry of the psalmists hints at the glory that awaits the faithful. If we Google the word "heaven," we won’t find a polished website detailing the accommodations and amenities. We are left to imagine the untold blessings.

Very little is left to the imagination in our society. Last week we discovered a new TV station amid the 1200 in our cable line-up. Daylong, it offers explanations of "how things are done," revealing the engineering marvels of skyscrapers, the formation of lab-made precious gems, and the culinary mystery of how they get the cream filing in the Hostess Twinkie. As a kid, I was hooked by the rare glimpse Mr. Rogers offered of crayons speeding through the Crayola factory. It was an awesome sight to see the fabrication of something so beloved. But like a magician revealing his secrets, without the mystery something essential is lost.

"We live by faith, not by sight."(2 Corinthians 5:7) Our daily walk with the Lord is built on love and belief and trust. "God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him." (Acts 17:27) The old images of clouds and harps are designed to leave us wanting. Heaven defies a typical description.

There is a song that my family loves to hear. It’s not as eloquent as Psalm 118:24, but SpongeBob Squarepants drives the point home in his song, "The Best Day Ever." Nothing extraordinary occurs in the song: no new job, no lottery winnings, no major life events. Our best day is the day of opportunities that God blesses us with each morning. A great day is special in what it lacks: no worries for the future and no sorrows over the past. It is a day lived fully in the present.

The full promise of heaven is dwelling in the presence of God. There, we will live like God, fully in the eternal present. Living in the moment, we will be without fear or anxiety of the future or regrets of the past. In heaven, God’s compassion and mercy abound. "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain." (Revelation 21:4)
I don’t know if heaven is an all-inclusive luxury hotel with round-the-clock spa treatments or buffet feasts of gourmet delicacies. Yet, in Revelation 7:16 we discover that, "never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat." The heavens are a storehouse of God’s bounty. The pure of heart will receive blessings from the Lord, for"no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless." (Psalm 84:11)

Heaven may be God’s best kept secret. In the words of the MercyMe song, "I Can Only Imagine."

2008-07-27T14:45:00.005-05:00

Common Grounds - We're all the same.

"In the end we’re all the same." – Ben Kweller, Rock Musician

We are all the same.
On a physical level, we’re all the same. God made us of flesh and in the end we die. Our hearts stop beating and our lungs fail to rise and fall. Game over. There is no advantage in wealth, privilege, fame, popularity, notoriety, wisdom or education. Modern medicine might delay the inevitable but nothing can change our fate.

All the hours spent at work and school can’t save us. All the stuff we labored to accumulate amounts to nothing. As they say, "you can’t take it with you." Yet, we race around working overtime so we can have more stuff: a new car, a boat, the latest gadgets, a sparkling new kitchen. Will our new toys bring us satisfaction or leave us unfulfilled and wanting more? Are we so intent on our next purchase that we forget to enjoy what we already have?

‘"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.’ Ecclesiastes 1:2-4 captures Solomon’s struggle to find the meaning of life. If death is the end, where can we turn for true meaning and purpose in our lives?

We are not all the same.
Through faith in Christ Jesus we know that the end to our temporary assignment on earth is really the beginning of our permanent mission in eternal life. By the grace of God and the power of Jesus’ sacrifice we are redeemed. Only those among us who believe will be saved. In addition, our daily lives on earth become richer through our faith and our growing relationship with the Lord. Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10:10 KJV)

A friend asked me this week why I bother going to church. I did my best to share the joy and warmth I felt in worship and fellowship. He agreed that he was a big fan of warmth and joy; he finds all the warmth and joy he desires in sleeping late on Sunday morning. My friend is not interested in church, yet it seems he thirsts for something more.

Jesus has commissioned us to share his joy, his word and his way. As Jesus instructed the Samaritan woman at the well, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. (John 4:13-14) Our faith in Christ ensures that our death is not the end. How do I share this good news with my friend?

When the Athenians asked Paul, "You are bringing some strange ideas to our ears, and we want to know what they mean,"(Acts 17:20), they opened the door to dialogue. They invited further discussion and explanation. Likewise, my friend asked another question. It was an invitation of sorts: "What if you are wrong?"

Do you know someone so afraid of being wrong or fearful of looking stupid that they refuse to believe? "What if you are wrong?" You can tell he is seeking. There is hunger for understanding and thirst for wisdom in such a question. I offered the simplest of replies; "what if I am right?"

Common Grounds - Every Child Needs a Laptop

2008-07-15T19:06:00.002-05:00

"All children need a laptop. Not a computer, but a human laptop. Moms, Dads, Grannies and Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles - someone to hold them, read to them, teach them. Loved ones who will embrace them and pass on the experience, rituals and knowledge of a hundred previous generations. Loved ones who will pass to the next generation their expectations of them, their hopes , and their dreams." General Colin Powell

I love Colin Powell’s quote. It prompts me to find a small child to plant on my lap. There is immense power in a laptop - a most intimate seating - to convey knowledge, experience, and great expectations.

My own youth was blessed with warm embraces and laptop chats. I was bathed in the love of my parents. From them I learned how to love and how to serve. The hours spent at my mother’s side in the kitchen introduced me to the touches that turn an ordinary meal into a loving occasion. Mom opened my eyes to the importance of details. Meanwhile, my Dad encouraged me to think big. We worked together for years and I learned about perseverance, quick wit and how to sell the sizzle not the steak.

I spent ample time on my parents’ laptops. I was held, read to, and lovingly taught. My mother’s soft caress invited me to linger. She read to my brother and me each night as we explored the amazing fantasy world of novels. My father’s work caused him to travel extensively. Each faraway trip was an opportunity for a private laptop reunion. My parents were clear they had big expectations of me, hopes for a successful career and marriage and future. So what was missing?

Read James 3:17 and you’ll discover the missing ingredient. "...Wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." Although our family life was filled with love, we forgot to include God’s lessons. The rich teachings I received were far from complete, for how can you learn of love and omit the most famous teacher? As Paul advised in Colossians 3:12-14, "...clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together is perfect unity."

I’m grateful to God for sending other teachers and other "laptops". Aunt Rosie reminded me not to be too busy to pray. A neighbor, Mrs. Brown, modeled authenticity and encouraged purity. Their teachings often fell on the deaf ears of a 12 or 17 or 24-year-old. Sometimes messages were lost or unappreciated. They didn’t give up on me and for that I am blessed.

I wonder, were they apprehensive sharing these values with me? Did they ever waver and wonder, "should I or shouldn’t I?"

Looking at Paul in Acts 17:16-23, I am humbled by his courage. He was ever brave and sure. If he had doubts about speaking the truth of God’s mercy through Jesus, there is no proof of it in his actions in Athens.

I look to my own children and wonder what message am I sending them? What lessons will they carry in their hearts? Not just the lessons from daily prayers or mealtime thanksgivings or evening devotions, what will they learn from our common everyday life?

As my parents grow old in years, I face the prospects of the tables being turned; someday I’ll be their caregiver. When my turn comes to hold them in my arms and wipe away their tears and calm their fears, will I have shared all they need to know?

I pray for the courage to share the Gospel with all those I love. I need courage. To be completely honest, I fear ridicule and rejection from those I love. Will they react as the philosophers did to Paul in Athens saying, "What is this babbler trying to say?" What if I never even try to share God’s promise? What then? My deeper fear is that I would miss my opportunity to spend eternity with them.

I pray that, like Paul, I will press forward in finding some common grounds to build upon. Rather than focusing on the difference between us, we can start with all we have in common. We want to be together to share love, laughter and a good meal.